Aunty Shanny

Aunty Shanny

Saturday, May 23, 2015

Loud Memories


Kyle and I have recently decided to buy my grandparents house and call it our own. I was going through documents to better organize my computer recently, and found this from when I first moved in to the house.

Grandma, Grandpa,
A tear or two 
As I walk through your house
There is the living room
      Where Joey, Dylan and I watched so many Disney movies it is hard to remember them all
      Where Joey ate so many Nacho Doritos it drove our mother crazy
      Where we opened one Christmas present every Christmas Eve
      Where my last memory of Uncle Ray took place. He gave me a Husky stuffed animal for Christmas.
      Where my Uncle Gordon checked my eyes, or my ears, because I didn't feel well, then patted me on the head and said “You’re good to go Toad.”
      Where the T.V. sat.
      Where Grandma watched her soap operas. Every day. Without fail. While folding laundry. 
      Where Grandpa sat in his chair. Where he immediately rose from. To fulfill whatever wish Grandma gave him.
      Where the baby grand piano stood, with Grandpa's picture on the wall beside it, handsome and pilot-esc.
      Where the baby grand stood that Grandma's fingertips so elegantly touched, where Daddy's, and Joeys, and now Andy's fingertips touched. 
       Where we flung legos and giggled at the Disney shows Grandma recorded for us. 
       Where I now think of you as I tare the drapes you so carefully chose from the wall. 
       Where Daddy rips carpet we played on as children, under which we found carpet he played on as a child.
       Where that mirror on the east wall sits ever present. A mirror that saw it all. You and Grandpa kissing. Daddy taking Mom on a date. Your 3 sons arguing over politics and things they were too knowledgeable about for their own good. Grandpa watching his sports. You watching your soaps. Your grandchildren raiding your candy bowl. Your grandchildren dancing the nights away to that song, Audra, do you remember the title? Opening presents next to your flocked Christmas Tree. Full bellies after incredible Thanksgiving dinners. 

There is a hallway leading to three rooms...
      Where I stood at the sliding door, smelling pancakes, homemade bread, and coffee.
      Where a dark brown candy bowl sat in a hall way closet, filled with Snickers, Three Muskateers, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Hershey Chocolate Bars, etc. 
       Where your bedroom sat. Quiet and perfect.
       Where your bathroom sat, a treacherous sliding door awaiting four year old fingers that couldn't twist the lock and hollered out, sure we were trapped. 
       Where Daddy's old room sat, his memories bursting from it's walls

There is a basement.....
      Where Dylan and I slept as kids, on the the pull out bed
      Where Dylan pretended to be asleep, while steam rolling me and flailing his arms around in such a way that I was smacked in the head every couple minutes.
      Where cousin Audra slept, and played Atari/Nintendo with us
      Where cousin Audra taught me how to shuffle cards, including instructions on how to achieve the ultimate trick, the bridge
      Where the laundry room scared me so much I had to run as I walked by it.

There is a garage....
       Where the Buick sat
       Where we pulled the Buick from to go on adventures to "The Base" (Hill Air Force Base)
       Where there sat an old green fridge that held all of our greatest desires when it came to soda or ice cream.

And finally, there is a kitchen. Your place, Grandma, the one I remember the most vivd details of you.

      Where you baked fresh, homemade bread.
      Where you made pancakes
      Where there was never a lack of homemade, to die for, delicious, food, where you never stopped, where you could never fall short, where you loved us the best way you knew how, good food, good smells, good auras. 
      Where there was banana cream pie
      Where there was pumpkin pie, cream puffs, spaghetti sauce, cheese bread, garlic bread, stroganoff, that garlic salad I had five helpings of, toffee, ginger snaps, and every single thing that may or may not have tasted "rancid" to you
      Where you pulled out a string of spaghetti and insisted I taste it, every time.
      Where you saved just enough to give to the good ol' cocker spaniel Toby, because you loved him, no matter how fat he got.
      Where you drank coffee out of those brown patterned cups, and we, Mom, Dad, Joe, Dylan, Andy, Uncle Gordon, Uncle Ray, Kathy, Greg, Bobby, Sophia, Audra and soon little Casie and Haylee ate meals on decorative pates, on peach colored, ruffled table clothes, next to flowered drapes...
     
Grandma, Grandpa
     I am quiet when I walk through your house alone
     I am quiet as I taste, smell, and feel each memory you left me.

Grandma, Grandpa
No matter how many drapes I pull from these walls, no matter how many pieces of carpet I send to the dump, you're still here, 
and I am so relieved. 
      Relieved I can still smell your spices when I open cabinets in the kitchen.
      Relieved I can still see your spaghetti boiling when I use the stovetop
      Relieved I can still smell your homemade bread every time I use the toaster oven, sitting in the exact spot yours sat. 

Grandma, Grandpa, 

Don't ever go away. Please promise you and Grandpa will stay. I'm not sure how long I have with you both.
      It is just for a moment, that I get to sense you here, that I am able to feel you with me on the back patio.
      Every weed I pull, is for you.
      Every wall I paint, is for you.
      Every cupboard I clean, is for you.
      But mostly, every cookie I bake, is for you.
      Every bowl of pasta I boil, is for you.
      Every piece of toffee I brake, is for you.

Grandma, as I walk through your house
I remember you.
And Grandpa. 
The most adorable, most precious love story every.

Let's not forget the best words of advice, words we will never forget: Grandpa's ultimate words of wisdom.

"Take care of your mother."

Grandma, I miss you. Grandpa, I miss you.

Lucky for me, you are everywhere I look, and I treasure every moment I get to feel close to you. I love you. 

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